Dici sempre “I’m fine” quando ti chiedono “How are you?” Ecco cosa dire davvero

“Hi Marcus, how are you?”

“I’m fine, thank you. And you?”

Ah.

The classic.

The sentence that has been taught to millions of Italian students since approximately the invention of the blackboard.

And yes, it’s correct.

But nobody said you have to talk like your English textbook for the rest of your life.

Because if you listen to Americans and British people having normal conversations, you’ll hear something very different.

“Good, thanks. You?”

“Pretty good. How about you?”

“Not bad.”

“I’m doing well, thanks.”

“Great! You?”

Much more natural.

So let’s talk about what people actually say.

First: “How are you?” doesn’t always mean “Tell me how you are”

This is important.

When someone says:

“How are you?”

they’re not necessarily asking for a detailed medical, emotional and financial report.

They’re often just saying hello.

You know when you walk into a bar and someone says:

“Come stai?”

You don’t normally answer:

“Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about my career recently…”

No.

You say:

“Bene, grazie. E tu?”

Same thing.

So when an American says:

“Hey, how are you?”

a perfectly normal answer is:

“Good, thanks. How about you?”

And that’s it.

Nobody expects a TED Talk.

So is “I’m fine” wrong?

No.

“I’m fine” is completely correct English.

But here’s the problem.

If you use:

“I’m fine, thank you. And you?”

every single time someone asks how you are, you can sound a little formal or… well…

like you’ve just escaped from an English textbook.

Try these instead.

If you’re doing well

“Good, thanks. How about you?”

“Pretty good, thanks.”

“I’m doing well, thanks.”

“Great, thanks!”

“Really good, actually.”

All completely normal.

And notice something:

They’re simple.

You don’t need advanced English to sound natural.

You need to use the simple English you already know.

“I’m good” or “I’m well”?

Ah yes.

This one causes a small amount of panic among English students.

You’ve probably been told:

“I’m well.”

And then you hear an American say:

“I’m good.”

And suddenly you’re wondering if the entire English language has collapsed.

Relax.

“I’m well” is correct.

“I’m good” is also extremely common in everyday conversation.

If someone says:

“How are you?”

you can absolutely say:

“I’m good, thanks.”

Nobody is going to call the grammar police.

What if you’re not feeling great?

Again, you don’t have to say:

“I’m fine.”

if you’re not.

You can say:

“I’m okay.”

“Not bad.”

“I’m a little tired today.”

“I’m not feeling great today.”

“I’ve had a long day.”

“Not great, honestly.”

And you can keep it simple.

For example:

“I’m a little tired today, but I’m good.”

That’s natural English.

No complicated grammar.

No fancy vocabulary.

Just something a real person might actually say.

Here’s the trick: give them something back

This is where conversations often get stuck.

An Italian student says:

“I’m fine, thank you. And you?”

The other person says:

“Good.”

And then…

Silence.

Wonderful.

You’ve successfully completed English Conversation Level 1.

Now what?

Instead of thinking of “How are you?” as a question that needs one correct answer, think of it as the beginning of the conversation.

Try this formula:

Answer + small detail + question

For example:

“Pretty good. I had a really busy week. How about you?”

Or:

“I’m good. I just got back from Rome. Have you been there recently?”

Or:

“A little tired, actually. I didn’t sleep very well last night. How are you?”

Look at what’s happening.

You’re not using difficult English.

You’re simply giving the other person something to work with.

That’s how conversations continue.

“How are you doing?” is basically the same thing

You’ll also hear:

“How are you doing?”

Don’t overthink this one.

In this context, it’s usually just another way of asking:

“How are you?”

You can answer:

“Good, thanks. How about you?”

“I’m doing well, thanks.”

“Pretty good.”

You don’t need to explain what you’re physically doing.

So don’t answer:

“I’m doing my homework.”

Unless, of course, that’s actually what you’re doing and the conversation is weirdly specific.

And then there’s “How’s it going?”

You’ll hear this one all the time too.

“How’s it going?”

It’s very casual.

It basically means:

“How are things?”

or simply:

“Come va?”

You can answer:

“Good, thanks.”

“Pretty good.”

“Not bad.”

“It’s going well.”

Or just:

“Good. You?”

That’s it.

Don’t panic when native speakers start throwing these little expressions at you.

They’re not secretly testing your English.

They’re just talking.

You don’t need a different answer every time

Here’s another thing.

You don’t need to memorise 25 clever ways to answer:

“How are you?”

Please don’t.

Your brain has enough to deal with already.

Learn a few natural answers and actually use them.

For example:

Good, thanks. How about you?

Pretty good. You?

Not bad. How’s it going with you?

I’m a little tired, but I’m good.

That’s plenty.

The goal isn’t to sound impressive.

The goal is to stop sounding like you’re reading from page 14 of an English workbook.

And here’s the really important part

Don’t translate your answer from Italian every time.

If someone asks:

“How are you?”

don’t start building the sentence in your head:

Come → how
stai → are you
bene → good
grazie → thanks…

By the time you’ve finished translating everything, the other person has probably already asked you what you did at the weekend.

You’ve already worked on this problem if you’ve read my article about translating everything in your head.

The goal is to make common English phrases automatic.

Someone says:

“How are you?”

Your brain should eventually go:

“Pretty good. How about you?”

Done.

No Italian subtitles required.

One more thing: sometimes people actually DO want to know

Here’s where you need to use a little common sense.

If your friend calls you and says:

“Hey, how are you? I haven’t spoken to you in weeks.”

They may genuinely want to know.

That’s different from someone you meet in the hallway saying:

“Hey, how are you?”

So listen to the situation.

If someone is clearly asking because they care, give them a real answer.

For example:

“I’m okay. I’ve been pretty stressed with work lately.”

Or:

“I’m actually doing really well. I just started a new job.”

That’s real conversation.

And again, notice how simple the English is.

Stop trying to find the “perfect” answer

This is the bigger lesson.

A lot of English students are constantly looking for the correct sentence.

But real conversations don’t work like that.

There usually isn’t one perfect answer.

If someone asks:

“How are you?”

you don’t get extra points for saying:

“I’m exceedingly well, thank you for asking.”

Please don’t.

Just say:

“Good, thanks. You?”

Natural.

Easy.

Done.

And if you want to continue:

“Pretty good. I’ve been really busy with work. How about you?”

Even better.

Try this for the next week

For the next seven days, stop automatically saying:

“I’m fine, thank you. And you?”

Instead, practise these:

“Good, thanks. How about you?”

“Pretty good. You?”

“Not bad. How about you?”

“I’m doing well, thanks.”

“A little tired, but I’m good.”

And once a day, add one little detail.

For example:

“Pretty good. I had a great weekend.”

Or:

“I’m good. I’ve got a busy day today.”

Or:

“A little tired. I didn’t sleep very well.”

That’s your exercise.

Not an hour of grammar.

Not 50 new vocabulary words.

Just one tiny conversation every day.

Because that’s how you get better at actually speaking English.

The bottom line

If you’ve been saying:

“I’m fine, thank you. And you?”

don’t worry.

You haven’t been speaking bad English.

You’ve just been speaking textbook English.

And textbook English is useful.

But eventually, you’ve got to leave the textbook.

Listen to how people actually talk.

Keep your answers simple.

Add a little information.

Ask something back.

And don’t panic if the conversation doesn’t follow the exact script you practised.

There is no script.

That’s the whole point.

I’m Marcus Wells, an American English teacher from Philadelphia, and I’ve been teaching English for more than 15 years.

I work with Italians who want to stop worrying about every single sentence and start actually using English in real life.

You don’t need to sound American.

You don’t need perfect grammar.

And you definitely don’t need to know 10,000 words.

You need to be able to have a conversation.

Scrivimi e iniziamo.

And next time someone asks you:

“How are you?”

please don’t look at them like they’ve just given you an English exam.

Just say:

“Good, thanks. How about you?”

See?

You’re already talking.